One son sold his shares to make music. The other now chairs Berkshire Hathaway. What one family can teach every family business about preparing heirs while you are still in the room.
By Elaine King Fuentes, CFP®, TEP
Let me take you back to London, 2015.
I had the chance to hear Peter Buffett tell his story. At 19, he received his inheritance: Berkshire Hathaway shares worth about $90,000, the proceeds of his grandfather’s farm, which his father had converted into stock. Peter sold them. He left Stanford, bought recording equipment and set out to become a musician.
He told us he knew, even then, that he might regret it one day. He doesn’t. He became an Emmy-winning musician, and for years he and his wife have poured themselves into philanthropy through their foundation, supporting girls and communities. What I remember most is how calm he was. He wasn’t defending a decision. He was describing a life.
So when I read this September that Warren Buffett had stepped down as chairman of Berkshire and that his son Howard would take the role, I wasn’t surprised it wasn’t Peter. I imagine there were many conversations around that family table over the years that led to that moment.
Two sons. Two very different paths. Both, I would argue, raised well.
This piece isn’t really about Berkshire. It’s about your family, and the question every founder I work with eventually asks me: will my children be ready?
Warren Buffett famously said he wanted to leave his children enough money that they would feel they could do anything, but not so much that they could do nothing.
He didn’t just say it. He lived it. He still lives in the Omaha house he bought in 1958. As a boy he sold soda door to door and delivered newspapers on his bicycle. And last year, at the Berkshire shareholders meeting in Omaha, I watched him announce his retirement in front of all of us. Then he talked about how lucky he felt to pay taxes, and to live in a time with food, shelter and choices that most people 200 years ago could never have imagined. I felt proud just to be in the room. He is in my personal top three of human beings I admire.
I’ve noticed the same thing in my own practice. The families who pass on their values rarely lecture. They model. The children are always watching, especially when we think they aren’t.
In short: Children don’t inherit values from a trust document. They inherit them from what they watched at home.
Look at how Berkshire separated the roles. In his letter to shareholders, Warren put it in one line: “Greg runs the company; Howard will guard its culture and values.” Greg Abel has been CEO since January 2026. Howard, as chairman, is not there to run operations. And Howard has sat on that board since 1993. Warren himself pointed out that it was a longer apprenticeship than his own before he took the reins. That is 33 years of listening before leading.
Many family businesses do the opposite. The heirs meet the board after the funeral.
And here is where it gets harder. In the first generation, one person decides. In the second, siblings. By the third, cousins who grew up in different cities, sometimes different countries, now share a company and a trust, and not always a relationship. Grandchildren inherit shares. They don’t automatically inherit each other.
Trusts, holding companies and offshore structures can do important work. They can protect assets, organize ownership and help coordinate taxes across borders. But I rarely see a structure that teaches judgment. A trust can say who receives. It cannot teach someone how to be a good owner.
Recently I worked with several cousin generations, and what surprised me most was the impact of the uncles and aunts who chose to teach while they were alive, rather than leaving a document to explain everything after they were gone. The difference was never in the paperwork. It was in the conversations.
In short: The structure protects the money. Only preparation protects the family.
My own work with the next generation didn’t happen by chance.
When I was starting out, the owner of a trust company asked me a question I have never forgotten: “Who do you want to be in the boardroom with?” I asked him who the toughest audience was. He didn’t hesitate. “The children of our clients.”
So that is where I went. During the pandemic, I got a call from someone who told me I was one of the few advisors who actually enjoys talking to the next generation. It’s true. I do. I see the future in them. Their minds are open in a way ours sometimes aren’t anymore. And what they ask for is rarely money. They ask for tools.
In short: The next generation isn’t asking for more money. They’re asking for better tools.
Legacy is a loaded word. So let me make it practical. Here is what I take from the Buffett example, and what I would add from thirty years at the table with families.
Give them enough, not too much. Decide as a family what “enough” means, and say it out loud while you can still explain why.
Teach them to fish. Encourage entrepreneurship early. A first venture funded as a loan, not a gift, often teaches more than any lecture about responsibility. Let them innovate. Their way of reaching customers won’t be yours, and it shouldn’t be.
Make community real. Not likes on social media. Real, visible impact on the planet: time, hands, presence. Peter found his in music and philanthropy. Your children may find theirs somewhere you never imagined.
Teach the value of their time. Every hour has an opportunity cost. Heirs who learn to manage their time can build a life, serve a company and give back to a community, instead of choosing only one.
Start the conversation now. Hold a family meeting. Invite the cousins to sit in on a board discussion as observers. Put your wishes in writing, and explain them in person.
I often think about that afternoon in London and that arena in Omaha. One son sold his shares and built a life he loves. The other spent three decades learning a culture before he was asked to guard it. Neither path was an accident.
Howard Buffett sat at that table for 33 years before anyone asked him to lead it. Most heirs get 33 minutes.
So let me ask you: who in your family is already sitting at the table, and do they know why they are there?
How did Warren Buffett plan his succession at Berkshire Hathaway?
Over many years, and in stages. Greg Abel, named as successor in 2021, became CEO on January 1, 2026. In September 2026, Howard Buffett, a director since 1993, became non-executive chairman, and Warren Buffett became chairman emeritus. The roles of running the company and protecting its culture were deliberately separated.
What did Warren Buffett say about leaving money to his children?
He has said he wanted to leave them enough to feel they could do anything, but not so much that they could do nothing.
How do you prepare heirs to be responsible shareholders?
Families often combine shareholder education, regular family meetings, observer seats on the board, and written governance policies. The most effective preparation tends to start years before any transfer, while the founder can still explain the reasoning.
What is family governance?
It is the framework a family uses to communicate and make decisions across generations. It usually includes shared values and a mission, policies for critical decisions, and regular meetings with clearly defined responsibilities.
Can a trust prepare my heirs?
A trust can structure and protect assets, but it cannot build judgment. Preparation usually depends on education, conversation and practice. A letter of wishes can help explain your intentions in your own words.
Is your family preparing owners, or only heirs? Let’s talk about family governance: https://www.elaineking.com/family-governance-services
Elaine King Fuentes, CFP®, TEP, is the founder of Family and Money Matters™ and the author of eight books on family and money. For nearly thirty years she has helped multigenerational families, business owners and the next generation organize, grow and preserve their wealth, and their relationships.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute individualized financial, legal, tax or investment advice, or a recommendation regarding any security, including Berkshire Hathaway. Trust, tax and cross-border rules vary by jurisdiction. Work with qualified legal, tax and financial professionals on your particular situation.
